They do warn you that you lose all dignity from the moment you become pregnant.
I would have to agree, especially when I think about a scenario involving stirrups, 4 midwives, 2 student doctors plus the tea lady all watching as Anna travels down the birth canal and me saying 'I'm feeling tired. Can I go home now? We can continue the party tomorrow night'.
However, I actually thought that dignity could be restored once the horrors of childbirth had been cast to a long and distant memory. It appears not!
Now that Anna is fully potty-trained, she is using public toilets like everybody else. So, whilst out shopping, Anna and I occasionally find ourselves using the facilities available. Unfortunately, I sometimes need the lavatory myself and I have no choice but to take Anna with me if we are on our own. I suppose I could leave Anna to wander around outside by herself but I'm not sure that it would be the wisest idea.
Sharing a toilet cubicle with a 3 year old is not good. During these occasions, Anna has been known to:
Shout, in a very loud voice, "Mummy, are you doing a wee or a poo? before then shouting 'Mummy is just doing a big wee and then we are coming out' so that the whole queue can hear us.
Or, and this is her favourite option and the one that she does on virtually every occasion,
Open the locked door whilst I am mid-flow and say 'Look everybody. Mummy is doing a wee-wee. Isn't she a good girl. Give Mummy a clap".
Meanwhile, I am sat on the toilet trying to kick the door closed with my foot, pull Anna back into the cubicle and pull my trousers up, all at the same time.
Of course, most people then laugh at Anna and so this just encourages her to do it the next time that we find ourselves in the same situation.
You will no longer find me in any public toilet anywhere until Anna decides that public announcement officer is not the career she wishes to pursue!
4 comments:
ha ha i soooo know where you are coming from!! i have a story about betty but cannot even bring myself to write it down it was so unbelievably embarrassing!
You really should write it. It would make me feel a whole lot better!
Thank you, as ever, for your comments. It is lovely to know someone is reading it.
I think you need to plan your shopping trips only for the days when you are wearing a voluminous skirt that reaches the floor whilst you are sitting down....
have you ever thought about going public again with your blog? mummy blogging is so big at the moment - a massive movement - did you hear about cybermummy and the interview on womans hour the other day? - incredible! your blog is so funny that it's a shame you are missing out! just a thought... x
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