The New Mr and Mrs Gibson

I feel like I'm in heaven when you're with me.

I know that I'm in heaven when you smile.
('Little Trip to Heaven'. Tom Waits)

I had never been to an intimate wedding before. By intimate, I mean 30 guests and an approach which intended for the occasion to be very relaxed and cosy.

There is something very beautiful about intimacy.

At 6pm on Friday 25th September, Matthew and Ulriikka were married in Tampere, Finland.

The Gibson/Casson clan rolled up to the gates of a 'stately home' although that seems an inadquote word to describe it. It was beautiful and was only enhanced by the walk up the grand stairs, above which hung the most sparkly and intricate chandeliers. We were then lead into an oak-panelled room which would serve as the dining room. To the right, was a smaller room with a grand piano and harp (this was to be the room where the wedding would take place).

After standing to admire the beauty of the location, Anna immediately set eyes on the harp and made a beeline to it. 'Look Mummy, a harp' she cheered. I didn't have very long to stand there looking like the impressed and smug Mummy about my 2 year old daughter knowing it was harp because Anna was clambering upon the stool in order to play the very expensive and delicate instrument. I raced over to explain that this wasn't actually her play thing. At which point, Anna decided to burst into tears. For the entire duration of our time in Finland, Anna had been huge smiles and a picture of pure joy. Just as Ulriikka's family walked in, for the very first time we were to meet them, Anna decided to shout at me that she wanted to play the harp, in amongst the snot and tears that were streaming down her face! Great first impression we must have made!

Thankfully, I calmed her down enough in order to take our seats and wait for the bride and groom. As the previous weddings this summer had taught me, I needed a bribe so presented Anna with some Finnish biscuits that we had purchased at the airport. Anna took one bite and was not impressed (It should have been chocolate. Just for half an hour, I wouldn't have cared!). Never mind, Anna seemed happy enough, just to sit and wait. Good Girl.

Then the music began and we stood to greet the bride and groom walk in. They both looked wonderful. Ulriikka always looks beautiful but even more so and Matthew didn't scrub up too badly either. The evening before, he had fairly long hair and an unshaven look but I have to say that Anna's uncle looked very much the dashing gent! As though he had just stepped off the film set of a Jane Austen adaptation, complete with very smart suit.

At this point, I would love to tell you that the wedding ceremony itself was truly beautiful and reduced everyone to tears. I have it on good authority that it was indeed very touching and emotional but, unfortunately, this was the one wedding that I didn't get to see this summer. It was my own fault for I had confused my poor daughter earlier in the day and, instead of waiting to ask me about it after the wedding, she needed answers there and then and was telling me in no uncertain terms by shouting!

Let me explain... While getting ready for the wedding. I had put Anna in her wedding outfit (known as her 'princess dress') and explained that we were going to Auntie Ulriikka and Uncle Matthews wedding. She looked me up and down, seeing me still dressed in jeans and a T-shirt and said 'Daddy in Princess suit. Anna in my princess dress. Mummy in that. Are you going to the wedding Mummy?'. Anna was clearly worried that I was not going too so I explained that I was about to jump in the shower and I would put my dress on immediately afterwards. This seemed to calm Anna and all was well. However, after getting out of the shower and putting my make-up on, there was a knock at the door as Grandma Lynn had come to ask my advice about her fascinator so I quickly grabbed the hotel dressing gown and threw that on before opening the door.

After Lynn had gone, Anna felt it obligatory to compliment me (such a polite young lady!) so said 'Lovely Mummy. What a lovely Holiday Inn dress'. Anna had learnt how to recognise the words 'Holiday Inn' during our time in Finland as this was the hotel we had been staying at and the emblem was now emblazoned on my right boob of the dressing gown. 'No Anna. This isn't my dress' I hastily explained as I raced into the bathroom to finish getting ready and put my intended dress on. After which, Auntie Charlotte arrived so I then didn't get another glance from Anna until we were seated at the wedding, watching as Ulriikka and Matthew were coming up the aisle.

Due to the fact that Charlotte was not seated next to Anna, Anna now had time to give me a good look up and down and suddenly said (in a disgusted voice) 'Where is your holiday inn dress Mummy'. I tried to quieten her down but Anna was clearly not happy. 'I like your Holiday Inn dress Mummy. I don't like this one.' Anna had a point to make and she didn't care who heard it. It was no good. The whole wedding ceremony was going to be drowned out by Anna's love for the Holiday Inn!! Therefore I took her out to the balcony, with the intention of calming her down enough to return.

Of course, as soon as we left the room where the ceremony was taking place, Anna then burst into tears and was yelling 'I want to see Auntie Ulrriikka and Uncle Matthew'. After 5 minutes stood on the balcony, explaining about the holiday inn dressing gown and the fact that Anna had to be very good and quiet at the wedding, Anna was calm enough to return. I then spent a further 2 minutes reminding Anna that she was to be quiet because this was Uncle Matthews big moment. 'Yes Mummy' Anna dutifully replied, trying very hard to look like the angel who could do no wrong. I then tried to open the door back into the main room. Unfortunately, the door was self-locking and I had just locked myself out on the balcony! 'I'm ready to go back in Mummy' said Anna. Oh dear! I then had to explain that we were not going to be able to get back in until the ceremony was over. Cue more tears and a tantrum!

Thankfully, the ceremony was soon over and a very kind Finnish lady, who spoke very little English, could understand my sign language for 'Please let me back in. I am freezing'. Anna and I then went to congratulate the happy couple, who were looking very relieved that the formal bit was over.

It was then time to eat. The tables were laid in a very simple yet stunning way. There were no huge bouquets adorning every spare space but they were not needed. It was the detail that made it so gorgeous and Ulriikka and Matthew had obviously put so much hard work into the fine detail. Waiting for Anna was a teddy with a little Finland T-shirt on (We have called him 'Finn'. Admittedly not the most creative of names but apt!) and, inside her little box wrapped in ribbon and bows, was a little Moomin (A Finnish invention!). Each person had a box wrapped in a ribbon bow and, each small gift inside was individually selected for the person. In each box, we also had some lyrics from Matthew and Ulriikka's music collection. Again, it was the little detail like this that made it so beautiful as, for anyone that knows Matthew knows, music is his life and so the lyrics made it a unique and personal touch to Matthew and Ulriikka's big day.

If the song I sing to you
could fill your heart with joy,
I'd sing forever.
('Forever'. The Beach Boys)

The food was absolutely gorgeous from the fresh salmon to start, to the most divine wedding cake you have ever tasted consisting of White chocolate and berries (not traditional in the English sense of the word but simply stunning). To accompany our dinner was a pianist and it was all just beautiful. We were also lucky to have Ulriikka's Finnish friend sat with us, who happens to go to university in Manchester and speaks better English than I do. Therefore she could enlighten us to Finnish wedding traditions.

One Finnish tradition is when it came to cutting the cake. Apparently, it is tradition that, whilst cutting the cake, the bride and groom must attempt to stand on the other's foot first and, whoever achieves it, is the person who will control the house. Thankfully, Ulriikka already had a fine grasp of being a Mrs Gibson and told the guests that this tradition didn't need to be carried out as everyone knew who wore the trousers in their household (and it isn't Matthew)! Apparently another Finnish tradition is that the bride's family should kidnap the bride during the wedding day and then the groom must do something fitting and honourable enough to earn his bride back. Luckily that tradition wasn't carried out either as we may never have seen Ulriikka again!

Unfortunately Anna didn't taste any of her dinner as she had been conveniently placed right next to the light switch. At first, no one knew what this was because it was different to any other light switch I had seen before but Anna soon used her investigative skills and the room was plunged into darkness on more than one occasion. Of course, I tired to stop her each time but sometimes, my reactions were just not quick enough. James, who was sat opposite me, would shout 'Lou', just as Anna's tiny hand reached for the button. Sometimes, I was just a split second too late. I think it was Anna's way of telling everyone to start the music and she would provide the flashing disco lights!! Every time that I switched the lights back on, 30 faces were all looking at me and the room had fell silent (after everyone had laughed) so I felt the need to apologise every time. At one point, I apologised for Anna turning the lights off and then apologised for not knowing the Finnish word for sorry because I was saying it so often! Thankfully, because all of the guest were so lovely, everyone saw the amusing side and smiled.

While we tucked into our coffee, whiskey, Irish liqueur and cake (Perfect!!!!!!!), it was time for the speeches. Ulriikka's parents speak very little English but enough that Ulriikka's father spoke in Finnish while Ulriikka's mother would read the English translation. It was a little bizarre to start as the Finnish guests would laugh very loudly at the Finnish speech while the English members were not sure how to react (not having understood a word). It seemed rude to sit there and not laugh when obviously a joke had just been made! However, fortunately the speech was so good that you soon forgot the translation element to it. Basically, Ulriikka's parents had read a Moomin story (very traditional and native to Finland) and they then adapted the story so that it was the story of Matthew and Ulriikka meeting. It was very clever.

It was then Grandad Flob's turn to make a speech. He stood up and, with a nervous hint to his voice, greeted everyone and.. we were plunged into darkness as Anna turned the lights off!!! As I frantically turned the lights back on, everyone was laughing very loudly and even the Finnish guest were telling me it was just Anna's way of telling her Grandad Flob to hurry up!! I would like to think that the laughter put Flob at slightly more ease as his speech was very good and heartfelt. Matthew then made his speech where he compared his new wife to a donkey, or words to that effect! In fact, Matthew's speech was pretty excellent too, it has to be said and I actually thought the donkey analogy was a very good way of summing up the task of making a speech at your own wedding!

After all of this, a slideshow was shown, almost like a 'This is Your Life moment' where it told the story of a boy and girl growing up and who happened, in 2004, to meet in a club in Manchester. In all the bars in all the world.... It is fair to say that this had the whole room in tears!

I am fairly certain that most people shed some tears of both laughter and sentimentality at such a beautiful tribute, not least of all at some of the shocking photos of James when he was little!

Once all of this was done, it was then the first dance. The words were beautiful and perfect for the occasion.
Of course, it didn't take long before Anna was up dancing (once Matthew and Ulriikka had a moment and other guests had been invited up) and so soon, Anna was dancing with the bride and groom and then Grandma Lynn and Grandad Flob but thankfully, no one seemed to mind.


The rest of the evening was spent pouring drinks and just having a really good time basically. When thinking about Matthew's wedding reception, I will remember John, James' other brother and dentist, making me laugh, and indeed the whole table, until the tears were streaming down my face, when discussing my particular toothpaste prescription!! (Very long story but one that I will remember and treasure for all the wrong reasons!)

Despite the language differences, it was wonderful to hear so much talking and laughing together and I'm not sure you would have got that if it hadn't been such an intimate wedding.

And once the venue had thrown us out, the party continued at a hotel down the road. Unfortunately, it was half past midnight by then and, despite a 2 year old who could have easily partied all night, the good parenting side of us kicked in and we thought we should take her to bed. I am told that the party went on until 5am the next morning while Ulriikka was so high on adrenalin that she ended up watching all about hunting rituals on the Discovery channel! A memorable wedding night then!

It was a great privilege to be at such a wonderful occasion. At our wedding, James and I had rather a big 'do' and I wouldn't want to change that for anything because, to us, it was our perfect day. However, there was something very special about Matthew and Ulrikka's wedding. Maybe it was because, being small and informal, meant that it truly felt like we were all celebrating the same thing and that every single person in that room truly loved and cared for the couple that were getting married. Therefore, this common bond meant we all felt closer to it and more relaxed with each other.

It may also have felt so special because this marriage was one which reminds you that true love does exist and you just know that they will be together forever. I remember the weekend before our own wedding where Matthew was best man and we were all at the rehearsal together. He had only just met Ulriikka a few weeks previously and yet, he talked about her so much! Matthew doesn't always say a great deal and so it has probably stuck in my memory even more because he was so animated and happy whilst talking about her.

It was a massive shame that Sally and Isla couldn't be there but Isla is still too little to travel so it is perfectly understandable. They were missed very much. To have James, Matthew, Sally and John in the same room at the same time seems like an almost impossible task at the moment (due to circumstances beyond their control) but hopefully the first wedding anniversary might be an occasion where they all meet up! Failing that, we always have John and Charlotte's wedding in 2011!

So that was how the new Mr and Mrs Gibson were married! Obviously Anna is thrilled that Ulriikka is now a Gibson as she can now pretend that Ulriikka is her Mummy!!!

I can also highly recommend being a 'Mrs Gibson' as it is pretty special and fantastic so it is lovely to know that there is now another Mrs Gibson around. It is a little sad to think that they are both so far away but hopefully we will see them again soon.

Huge congratulations to the new Mr and Mrs Gibson!

... I believe in love

and I know that you do too.
And I believe in some kind of path that we can walk down - me and you.
So keep your candles burning, make a journey bright and pure,
that you'll keep returning, always and forever more,
into my arms.
('Into My Arms'. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds)