It has been a while since I was last sat here, writing this blog. There is a reason for that. I have basically been too tired after each long day, trying to work out how to do this parenting lark!
I now know what it means when they say 'the 'Terrible Two's'. In fact, I would say that 'terrible' was an understatement.
In the past couple of weeks, my normally sweet, angelic little girl has turned into a tantrum terror. Our classes and clubs used to involve me being the proud Mummy as I saw Mum's whisper to each other 'Isn't Anna so sweet and gorgeous'. I now see Mum's backing away from Anna and silently disapproving as Anna decides to do the exact opposite of what she is meant to be doing.
Just take this week as an example...
Saturday saw us go to the zoo as James met up with an old University friend who had come 'up North' with his children. Anna , despite being surrounded by exotic and wild animals, decides that she would much rather try to pull all the flowers out of the flower beds. When we quickly pointed out that the flowers looked much prettier in the garden, she decides to lie on the ground and become one of the star attractions by doing something which looked like a tribal dance (lots of stomping the feet and shouting!)
Sunday was Mothers Day and we decide to celebrate by having a country stroll through the deer Park at Dunham Massey, where Anna can run to her hearts content and we imagined a lovely peaceful, idyllic Mothers Day. Anna decides that she doesn't fancy that much. Instead, Anna wants to get up close and personal to the Deer so we calmly explain that we are not allowed to get too near the deer because it will be dangerous and might scare them. Anna then waits until we are walking in the opposite direction before turning round very quickly and running straight at the poor Deer, shouting 'Hello Deer, are you scared?' while they run for their lives.
Monday was playgroup. The craft activity saw the children making Mothers Day cards (The day after Mothers Day but that is typical of our completely disorganised and mad playgroup leader!!!). Anna decides that it will be a great idea to get the child-proof scissors and start trying to cut her hair. I tell her that her hair looks beautiful as it is and when that fails, attempt to take the scissors off her. Cue lots of screaming and stomping from Anna while all of the other mums gently encourage their children to continue making them beautiful cards to cherish and not look at the wailing Anna in the corner.
Tuesday saw us at Jo Jingles. In fact, we had lovely and gorgeous Anna back. I think, because Anna has been going since she was 6 months old, she knows the routines very clearly so we had a nice day.
On Wednesday, we went to Forest Tots and Anna decided that, instead of creating a rainy picture using glitter, cotton wool, ribbon and glue, she would go round every table seeing how many glitter pots she could steal before throwing all the glitter on the floor.
Thursday saw Anna attempting to be 'leader' of her rebellious gang. During her dance lesson, Anna thought it would be great fun to run into one of the back offices and try pressing buttons on the photocopier. Unfortunately, 2 other girls decided to follow her. However, their mum's quickly called their names and they dutifully came back looking all sheepish. If they could talk, they would have probably said 'Anna made me do it' and I even heard one mum say 'Don't follow Anna because she obviously doesn't know the rules'. I tried calling Anna back and she looked at me and laughed before racing off further into the office to try pulling the leaflets off the shelf.
I have even resorted to introducing the naughty step today after Anna decided to take all the books from the shelf and throw them at me. After giving her 2 clear warnings to no avail, I attempted to follow the Supernanny approach. So far, it hasn't worked. I can't remember what Supernanny does when the child refuses to sit down for more than 5 seconds despite continiously returning them to the 'naughty step' for an hour!!! I think Anna is probably too young... either that or I am making excuses. At the end of it, Anna was still kicking and screaming and the tantrum had just got worse. Anna has got the tantrum technique down to a fine art!!
I blame myself! This all started a couple of weeks ago in Tesco. Normally, Anna loves supermarket shopping as it gives her an opportunity to talk to every single shopper for a very long time. Being the mean Mummy that I am, I don't normally buy 'treats' so there is nothing that really makes Anna tempted to ask for it (I always give her fruit before arriving at the supermarket so she isn't hungry). However, because we were doing Nanny's shopping, my mum put some Hot Cross Buns in the trolley. Anna loves Hot Cross buns so immediately started asking for one. Now, I am one of those parents who cannot bear to see children eating things from the trolley before they have even been paid for (apologies to anyone that does do this but it is just one of my 'things'). Therefore, I was determined not to give in. It wasn't long before Anna was using all her strength (and there is a lot of it!) to haul herself out of the trolley. With two thirds of her body tangling precariously over the edge of the trolley, I had no choice but to get her out. At this point, Anna then makes a run for it to find the aisle containing her beloved Hot Cross Buns. If Mummy won't give me one, I will find them myself. After failing to locate her treasured goods, Anna then decides to change tactics and head straight for the front door, with her Mummy in hot pursuit. Obviously, I catch her before she gets to the road and I decide to take a screaming, flailing Anna back to the trolley. My mum could hear us coming from 20 aisles away! Anna is now VERY red, her eyes have become bloodshot, she is going blue around the mouth and her legs and arms are kicking and thrashing about as though she is having a fit. When arriving back at the trolley, I attempt to put her in again but fail as she becomes as rigid as a plank of wood so, after my muscles begin to burn, I have to put her on the floor again. Of course, Anna runs off again but this time, decides that she doesn't want her Mummy anywhere near her so keeps trying to push me back. 'No Mummy, GO AWAY' she screams although her voice has now become hoarse through all the shouting so she actually sounds like some alien from another planet. When she realises that I am continuing to follow her, Anna falls to the floor in most spectacular fashion and looks at me with pure rage in her eyes. I now know what they mean when they say a red mist is all they can see. Anna wasn't looking at me with anything other than out-of-control rage and anger. When I just let her lie there for a few seconds, she then decided that the only way that I will react is if she starts head butting the concrete floor while swiping all of the washing up liquid off the shelf at the same time. At this point, I have quite an audience consisting of old ladies helpfully telling me that she needs a good slap, others just tutting under their breath and one lovely lady who said 'Don't worry... we have all been there' (I could have hugged her if I didn't have a raging 2 year old to deal with at that second!!!)
So, with Anna under my arm, holding her like a rugby ball as she screams and screams and screams, I take her back to the trolley and, this is where I make the fatal mistake. I am ashamed to say that I gave in and she got a hot cross bun. I know that you all reading this, shaking your head slowly and thinking I am very weak!! It is true, I was weak for a split second and I now fear that it is haunting me. Anna thinks that throwing a tantrum like this on an almost daily basis will get her what she wants or mean that she doesn't have to stop doing whatever it is that I consider too dangerous.
So, I am sat here now after a long and stressful day. I feel like a failure because the 'Naughty step' was a complete disaster and I'm sure Anna went to bed thinking that she had a pretty horrible day too after all that crying and screaming! I have visions of the poorly behaved children that I have ever taught and fear that will be Anna one day!!! I confess to always having little sympathy with the parents (unless the child was medically diagnosed with behaviour issues which is completely different), thinking that their parenting skills may have contributed to the fact that young 'Tyson' was behaving like he did. Now I am one of those parents and I don't know what I have done wrong! I just have this fear of sitting outside Anna's headteachers office one day, waiting to be summoned in to discuss Anna's behaviour. I realise that I am being very melodramatic and paranoid by doing that but that is how it feels at the moment!
It doesn't help that every other toddler in every class that we attend seems to be the perfectly behaved child compared to Anna. They all follow instructions first time and does not seem to have selective hearing! Even of they are not perfectly behaved, at least they save their trying times for their own home.
Well... tomorrow is another day! Maybe we will have angelic Anna back. We can hope!