Going Awol

Every single medical person that I have spoken to, since Anna's Asthma nightmare began, has suggested that I MUST continue to go the clubs and classes. I think they feel that it will help to build her immune system in the long term and that I should not allow the asthma to affect our quality of life. HOWEVER, it is very easy for them to say that but they are not the ones who sit up all night watching my baby girl breathing, seemingly waiting until it gets to the point when she can no longer breathe properly and we are then allowed to take her to seek medical help!

It has only been a week of not going to the clubs and already Anna and I are going slightly round the twist. Ironically, when I chose to give up work (which I was very very fortunate that I could do), the thought of baby groups and classes filled me with dread and I couldn't think of anything worse. Nowadays, I am filled with dread thinking that I can't go! I was even doing our shop in Sainsbury's yesterday when I saw the swim nappies on the shelf and started to cry. I miss it so much and it makes it even worse when I think that Anna is missing out. I suppose it is guilt. It doesn't help that Anna's swim teacher was on the TV last night (she also appeared in the Daily mail last week). One of her pupils (in a different class to Anna), a 2 year old girl, accidentally wandered into the family pool while her mum was in another room. Thankfully, because Lindsay had taught her how to swim to the surface, swim to the side and hold on, she was able to stay afloat until her mum realised what had happened. What if Anna forgets how to do that if I don't go to the lessons.

I think Anna is missing her groups too. There are only so many hours that she can take of her Mummy after all! I suppose it doesn't help when I am thinking of all the money being lost. These baby groups ask for money at the beginning of term (so to know whether it is worth running the class in the first place) and, without doctors approval that I should give them up, there is no way of getting my money back. I realise that this is a far less important reason about why I should be gutted about not going to the classes but is still makes me rather p'ed off.

Instead, Anna and I are going on long walks whilst avoiding main roads (air pollutions are not good for asthma sufferers). The problem is that, despite living next to a greenway route and several large parks, there are only so many times that you can do the same walk without being able to start recognising every individual tree. Anna and I have even tried to make it more exciting by giving the tree a name such as Teresa or Terry but that starts to lose it's fun element quite quickly!

Obviously missing the clubs would be more than worth it if it helped Anna to recover and not suffer any more attacks but I'm not even sure it will (as doctors keep reminding me)

Anna has started to have a cough and dry sneeze again and I am petrified that it is gearing up for another attack. Therefore we went to see the GP yesterday and basically demanded a 2^Nd opinion. I still think Chester NHS are great but thought that someone else might be able to do more tests to determine the cause of all this, rather than just trying to guess. We are concerned that this is following a very regular pattern where Anna is getting a cold on Monday, cough on Wednesday and, by Friday night, is ending up in hospital with acute asthma symptoms. She then takes a week to recover before it starts all over again on the following Monday again. This has been going on for more than 8 weeks now (resulting in 4 occasions of being admitted into hospital). The pattern just seems far too predictable and regular. I am so used to the pattern that I can predict what will happen on an hour to hour basis.

At first, the GP seemed to suggest that it was just asthma and there wasn’t anything that could be done. However, he then did admit that the pattern did indeed seem strange and that he would refer us. (We are very very lucky that James' company provide Anna with private health care... probably as consolation for making her Daddy be on-call for 24 hours a day, every day) We have later found out today that NO private hospital in the area will take children under 3. Apparently, the NHS is rather good at seeing children quickly so private hospitals don’t seem too keen. They also think it is not worth the extra thousands of pounds in insurance fees to take children under 3 so we are back to square 1.

However, I have spent virtually every evening recently doing background research and am now armed with some facts and figures to annoy the NHS medical team with, which they hate more than anything. I always get asked if I was medically trained, just so that they can prove a point that they are far more superior than me, and then they tell me to shut up, albeit in a polite way! Basically, I have found out that 85% of children with asthma are allergic to house dust mites so that is probably why they have told me that is why Anna is probably allergic to, which is the cause of the asthma. (Please remember that there are millions of house dust mites living in sofas and mattresses and curtains, in even the cleanest of homes... my house is clean... honest!) However, the allergy UK and British Allergy Foundation websites as well as other medical research all suggest that this should be proved or disproved with some allergy tests, which we have not been offered (You can prove if Anna is allergic to house dust mites by doing the tests). You also have to bear in mind that 15% of children are allergic to other things which cause asthma such as food products. Anna’s pattern would suggest that this may be the case. Therefore, I think I am going to insist on some tests being carried out to prove what she may/may not be allergic to, hence what the trigger is for these attacks.

I also mentioned to the doctor about Anna's classes and that I have made the decision not to attend them for a while. He, like every other medical person that I have spoken to since this all started, shot me down in flames and said that he 'strongly disagreed' with my decision and that I should continue to take her. However, he is not the one who has to deal with her gasping for breath so it is easier said than done for him. I just want to protect her from the viruses which are also a trigger for her asthma attacks.

Interestingly, while doing my research, I typed in asthma and baby into the UK search engine and the following articles appeared on the first page (so I didn’t have to search for it very far)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1431400/Swimming-pool-vapours-linked-to-child-asthma.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/1508249/Baby-pools-may-increase-asthma-danger.html

I know that it says that babies who are more prone to asthma were the only ones likely to be affected by the swimming but it suggests that swimming obviously doesn’t help sufferers like Anna. The other interesting thing is that we changed our swimming venue in February, which is when this asthma nightmare kicked off. Could there be a link between the swimming pool and her asthma? If this article has any truth in it, it looks like I may have to stay away. However, I am also more than willing to be proved wrong and, if Anna gets ill again and we haven't been swimming, I can obviously dismiss it and continue to go swimming again. It is so sad to think that Anna may have to miss out on one of her favourite things and I even have tears in my eyes typing this but, obviously, her health is more important and it may help her so that she can continue to enjoy other things.

Maybe I am just desperately trying to find some explanation as to why this has happened and maybe there isn't an answer. I am fed up of reading articles about how mothers shouldn't eat nuts during pregnancy, feed their baby nuts, keep pets or expose their baby to smokers, as this all increases the risk of asthma in children. I keep shouting at the various books and articles that I have never done any of that but it still hasn't stopped my baby getting ill.

Meanwhile, I am still in a muddle about the classes. I am starting to think that I may attend one or two a week (Playgroup and Jo Jingles). That is still half of what I used to do and it may just stop me and Anna from talking to trees! On second thoughts... maybe it won't but it would definitely give us more things to talk to the trees about!

Hospital Watch

Another weekend. Another stay in hospital.

It was the same old story. 2 days of cold, followed by 2 days of cough, resulting in shortness of breath and wheezing on Friday night. When the cold started to set in, I was ensuring that her inhaler was full and that she was getting her dosage every 4 hours. I even increased the dose to try and fight off the impending feeling of doom as it travelled to the chest. It appears that nothing is preventing it from going to the chest at the moment. The nurse on A and E told me that some children will need extra help in hospital and that is just how it is. It is not just extra help though. A and E gave her extra help and it wasn't enough so Anna was admitted again for the duration of the weekend.

They talk as though it is an everyday occurrence and no big deal. It happens to some children. Deal with it. So what if you have had to bring your child into hospital 3 times in the past 5 weeks?

I DON'T want to deal with it! I want my darling daughter healthy and well and enjoying the sunshine each weekend. I want to take her to the park and to the seaside on a Saturday, NOT stuck in the waiting room of A and E as every local scally walks in with a bad hangover from the night before. I am fed up of people telling me that this is how it is from now and I have to get used to the uncertainty.

It is not happening. Instead, we spend our week fighting as hard as we can to stop the blasted cold from going to the chest and we spend every weekend in a ward staring outside at the blue skies, unable to go outside due to the endless monitors that are attached to Anna.

I long for weekends where we walk to the park or go sight-seeing to some empty field somewhere. Even those rare weekends which we don't spend in hospital, is spent trying to fight the cold that is rearing it's ugly head, waiting to attack her lungs.

It is no consolation that they tell me that we are doing everything that we can and how well we are following the asthma action plan. It is not enough to stop Anna from having to go into hospital for the millionth time. We keep asking and asking and asking if there is anything else we can do to stop this. Is there any other allergy prevention product we can buy? Is there any other medicine that we can give her? Is there anything we can do? The answer is always the same. It appears that we are doing everything we can and it is still not enough.

Maybe the time has come to have to stop the clubs and classes. It is OK to say that we shouldn't stop them because Anna needs to get out and about but it is no good if she can't get out and about because she is spending her whole time going back and forth to hospital.

The only nice thing about this weekend is the fact that Anna continues to wow everyone. The doctors tell me that Anna has a certain 'something', which makes her a very special little girl. The nurses said that Anna has made their weekend fly by and that she will be very missed when she went home. It is amazing how much she notices and learns. One of the nurses had left the temperature monitor on the table. This bit of machinery is where you put the temperature monitor into a dispenser which places a cover over the probe and you then put it in the patients ear. Anna took one look, grabbed the monitor, put it in the dispenser to get a cover and then started putting it in her ear to take her temperature, while making the beeping noise at the same time. The doctor then gave her his stethoscope which she put in her ears and placed the metal plate on her chest to listen to her heartbeat. Her training to become a nurse/doctor has started early. She then went round the doctors giving them all high-fives and shaking their hand (without any prompting!) before escaping to the teenagers ward where she entertained everyone with her dance moves (twirling on the spot and then bouncing up and down in time to the music). I don't think she stopped 'chatting' all weekend (baby babble mostly with a few words such as hello, thank you, bye bye, look and a lot of waving), once the drugs had started to work on Saturday evening. James thinks that Anna must follow her Grandad Tom who, when in hospital, insisted on going to shake everyone's hand on the ward and introducing himself. Anna has inherited the same social skills, which is lovely. The nurses, and even the senior consultant, all told me that she is gorgeous, wonderful and her smile is beautiful and that we have a very special and clever girl. It is lovely of them to say that. The problem is that I want to show the rest of the world how wonderful Anna is and, at the moment, we are not getting to see or do anything!

Maybe I should just rename this blog, 'Hospital Watch' as the only thing I ever seem to write about is our trips to hospital. The problem is that there is NOTHING else that I can write about at the moment. Our lives consist of a week of colds and coughs, followed by the weekend spent in Ward 30 of the Countess of Chester Hospital. Life is not fair sometimes!

Losing Control

Where do I start?

Anna has been in hospital again last weekend, for the third time in less than 2 months. Unfortunately, this episode has been the worst by far and I have never been so frightened in my life (Not even the severest of panic attacks made me as scared as Friday night).

Basically, the week followed exactly the same pattern as the previous 2 occasions. Monday and Tuesday saw a dreadful cold followed by 2 days of coughing. Friday was a good day but, by then and unbeknown to us, the virus had gone to the chest and was starting to constrict the airways. It follows the same pattern every time so, by Wednesday, I had a horrible feeling that we would end up back in hospital. However, no matter how much you try telling the doctors, they don't want to know unless you are displaying the actual symptoms of asthma so they send you home again with a feeling that you are wasting their time.

Friday night saw us putting Anna to bed as normal. However, I was conscious that the virus might be lingering so I lay in bed in the next room, just to make sure. At 9.45pm, Anna let out a little yelp and I went in to see Anna wriggling around her cot as though something had bitten her and crying in a most unusual way. I picked her up and lay her on our bed but it soon became apparent that all was not well. She was desperately trying to find a position to be comfortable and she began drawing her chest in and using her tummy muscles to breathe in. However, at this point, it was not as bad as I had seen previously so we gave her the inhaler but still phoned the doctor, to be on the safe side. The out-of-hours GP advised us to go and see him. Apparently, they don't do home visits for us city folk (unless we can't get there) so we had to head for a clinic in the town centre. Having never needed an out of hours GP before, we quickly tried to memorise the directions and got on our way. By the time that we had got onto the main road into Chester, it was apparent that our baby was deteriorating fast. By this time, she was getting very distressed. She couldn't get enough air in to breathe properly and, as a result, was panicking, which just made the situation worse. It is very hard to explain to a 17 month old baby that she needs to calm down and try to conserve energy.

Unfortunately, the clinic is on a busy dual carriageway which skirts along the main high street. The out-of-hours receptionist had told us that it was at the high street end of the carriage way so we headed for that point, only to find it wasn't there. By this tine, we had entered a one way street so we had no choice but to carry on through it. Anna was deteriorating at a staggering rate and her breathing had become something which I can only describe as something you would hear in a horror film, as she gasped for air. Both James and I thought she was about to pass out so I screamed at James to stop the car and I bolted out, grabbing Anna and racing through Chester town centre. Unfortunately for James, he had screeched to a halt in the middle of the road which leads through Chester's town centre. At first, he didn't care and ran behind me and Anna but then people were starting to point out that the whole of Chester would come to a standstill if he left it there so he was forced to turn back. He would try and find his own way to the clinic by car. (I didn't know any of this until the next day. At this point, I had tunnel vision with only one aim, to get to the clinic before Anna became unconscious).

I'm not sure what the clubbers and revellers thought as they saw me and Anna racing towards them, with me screaming for someone to tell me the way to the clinic. Finally I came to a packed bar with some bouncers on the door. I stopped just long enough to ask them which way I should go. They had no idea either but they did grab a taxi driver who could tell me. Basically, he told me how to get there by using lots of back streets and alley ways. He then informed me that there was a problem... that I would have to cross a duel carriageway of 4 lane traffic. I didn't care. I just knew that I would have to get across somehow.

I now had a very limp baby in my arms who was struggling desperately. In the pit of my stomach, I was terrified beyond belief but I didn't have time to acknowledge that. Adrenaline took over and I pushed it to one side and ran faster than I have ever done, down cobbled streets and back alleys in semi-darkness. I wasn't sure where I was going as I couldn't recall any of the taxi driver's instructions (due to my mind racing) but, sub-consciously, my mind must have remembered and I finally ended up at the duel carriageway. As I briefly stopped to take it in, I could hear myself singing to Anna and telling her everything would be OK (again, I did this sub-consciously without even realising it). Maybe I was trying to convince myself as much as Anna. By this time, Anna had calmed down but was obviously still gasping for breath.

Miraculously, the carriageway, that is normally streaming with traffic, was empty with no cars insight, so getting across was fairly straight-forward (The traffic was probably all backed up behind the car that James had deserted in the middle of the road). However, now that I was on the correct side of the carriageway, I wasn't sure where the clinic was. Should I go left or right? Thankfully, I saw a blue sign in the distance. I didn't have a clue whether it was the clinic but I had the image pop into my head, of the NHS logo which happened to be blue. I also noticed that there was a hotel next to this blue sign and I decided that, if it turned out not to be the sign for the clinic, I would run into the hotel and ask for them to phone for an ambulance. Thankfully, my instinct was right and the blue sign did indicate the clinic.

When I arrived, the door was locked so I screamed for someone to help me and they came to open the door. I then waited at the receptionist desk while the receptionist chatted on the phone. Now normally, I am very polite but not tonight. "Will someone please help me, my daughter can't breathe'. I yelled, to which another receptionist appeared from under a desk (!!) and showed me straight to the doctor. It took all of 5 seconds for him to say 'Hospital now'. He then asked whether I had someone to take me quickly or whether I would need an ambulance. At this point, I remembered that I had left James lost in the middle of Chester after I had dived out of the car.
Thankfully, just as the doctor was phoning the hospital to tell them that we were coming, he turned up (after the same taxi driver had showed him where to go when using a car) and we sped to the hospital.

As we arrived at the hospital, I dived out of the car again with Anna and she threw up all over me. I later found out that there was very little air getting into her lungs at this point so her body was trying to expel anything it had, in an attempt to get oxygen. I ran into Ward 30 covered in sick and the nurse told me to lie her on the bed before leaving to get some water to clean up the sick. 'Anna needs a doctor, not clean hair' James said. I later found out that this nurse was useless (I hasten to add that every other nurse, doctor and nursing assistant in the hospital is amazing and brilliant). However, she then informed us that she had alerted the doctor but was just trying to get her observations done before the doctor came but she wanted to clean up the sick before she started to look at her. Aghhhhhh! Thankfully, the doctor arrived very quickly and, once she had quickly established that Anna was in trouble, immediately put an oxygen mask on her and went to get the registrar. Within 10 minutes, Anna was hooked up to monitors, had an oxygen mask and drugs being administered. At this point, she was heading for the high dependency unit and I knew things were serious when they said that there would have to be a medical trained person in the room at all times. Her breathing was 60 breaths per minute (it should be no more than 20) and there wasn't even any wheezing because it had gone beyond that stage by now. Wheezing is when the airways are blocked so the air that is getting through only has a little room and therefore makes a whistling noise as it passes through. There was so little room in Anna's airways that the air couldn't get through so the wheezing wasn't even happening.

For the next 2 hours, Anna was given drugs via an oxygen mask and monitored with screens bleeping every so often. Thankfully, it then became under control and, at 1.30am, Anna was stable enough to be moved to a normal ward. She still had to wear the oxygen mask all the time as her oxygen levels were dramatically low but she was out of immediate danger.

It was then time to start demanding answers. We had been in hospital 3 times in the past 2 months and this was out of control. There was no way that I was going to let Anna suffer like this and I would refuse to leave the hospital until my little girl was better.

After lots of tears and frustration, the consultants sat us down and explained what was going on. Basically, Anna suffers from Asthma which is looking quite severe at the moment. The main trigger for her asthma is cold viruses which is then travelling to her chest. In both adults and babies, cold viruses are not normally harmful but, with asthmatics, they become more worrying as asthma suffers are susceptible to the virus going to the chest and blocking the airways. For babies, it can be quite common because their airways are so small that it can easily become blocked, which is called Bronchialitus. However, now that Anna has been in 3 times, with severe symptoms on 2 of those 3 occasions, it is now time for more action to be taken. Although NHS guidelines still dictate that we are not allowed to label Anna as an asthmatic, that is how she is now being treated by medical staff. She has been given another inhaler which she must take every day, regardless of symptoms which may or may not appear. This inhaler will hopefully prevent most viruses to stick to the airways but unfortunately, it takes up to 8 weeks to get into the system so they did warn us that we may be back in hospital before then. She is also going to be reviewed every 2 months.

The community nurse told me that Anna is at the beginning of a long road and this may take several attempts before we get it under control but we have started on the right track and we will get there. Meanwhile, we have an agonising wait to see what happens next. The problem is that there are a millions of viruses out there and Anna is picking them up with alarming frequency at the moment. This could be because her immune system is low after a dreadful 2 months so she is picking them up easily and they are going to the chest, which is then causing the breathing difficulties, making her immune system even lower. It is a vicious circle. What we need is several weeks of Anna being clear of any virus and her lungs will then be given a chance to recover properly. It is a terrifying time for us at the moment.

Even as I write this, I feel like I should be sat in her bedroom, counting her breaths per minute and watching her as she sleeps. However, unless I do that 24 hours a day, it is not going to help and, even if I did do that, there would be no stopping Anna from catching a virus. We asked the consultant again whether Anna should be going to the clubs and classes and whether we should stop going. Her answer was a very firm yes, that we should still be going. As she said, there are viruses everywhere and she could just as easily catch one from waiting at the till in Tesco. The consultant also pointed out that if she didn't get exposed to them now, she would get exposed to them at school and that may mean going through the nightmare while Anna is in her first year at school, which would be very unsettling for her.

There is some preventative action I can take now. I must not dust or hoover while Anna is around and all aerosols are banned. I must always have windows open in the house and keep the house as cold as possible. Central heating is to be turned off unless the house temperature falls below 16 degrees. Anna must not be allowed any cuddly toys in her cot and any soft toys that she plays with must be washed daily, frozen in the freezer and then defrosted (to kill any dust mites, who can't survive in sub-zero temperatures)

So we wait and see what happens now. We hope that the other inhaler starts to work quickly and that Anna can be free of these viruses, just long enough to clear her lungs for a while. The summer may also help as the weather will become nicer and the viruses may not be around so much. The problem is that we live with uncertainty and the doctors have told us that this just has to become normal for us now. In a previous post, I said that we will just have to pick ourselves up after each episode, dust ourselves down and get on with life. The problem is that it gets more and more difficult to do that with each episode that passes as you start to get more tired and it is difficult knowing that you pick yourself up, only to wait for the next knock down (when the asthma strikes). However, for Anna's sake, we will keep getting up and going to the clubs and classes (which Anna loves more and more as she gets older). Please bring on the sunshine again.... soon!

Birdwatching

Most days, as I prepare lunch, Anna gazes out of the French doors, happily watching the activity in the garden. That probably makes it sound more exciting than it actually is especially as the activity normally consists of watching the neighbourhood cat prowling his estate (which, according to the cat, includes our garden), watching our next door neighbours scarecrow swaying in the wind or watching the twirly, whirly, swirly things (I have no idea of their correct name) hanging off our apple tree. However, although it may not sound exciting to us, Anna thinks it is wonderful and this daily routine normally results in Anna chatting away for the whole time that she is doing it. (If I could translate, Anna would probably be saying 'I want to go outside' over and over again as I am finding it increasingly difficult to get her indoors whenever she is outdoors!).

4 weeks ago (it has taken me that long to get round to writing this post!), I was making lunch as normal and Anna was carrying out her stakeout of the garden. Anna was chatting away and we were having a good conversation (I always chat back to Anna) when suddenly, Anna said 'birds' really clearly. I was thrilled but even more excited when I looked up to congratulate her. Not only was Anna saying 'birds' but she was also pointing to 2 fat birds that were sat on our lawn. I rushed over to show my enthusiasm and, probably just for my benefit, Anna pointed to the birds again and said 'birds'!! My little girl could not only say the word 'birds' but also knew what it meant and was using it in context!!

At this point, I picked Anna up and started dancing around the kitchen with her, telling her what a clever girl she was. I was so excited that I even text each of Anna's grandparents and her Daddy, just to tell them how clever she was.

Since then, Anna has also pointed to her shoes and said 'shoes', pointed to trees and said 'trees' and has also pointed to a photograph of her Uncle John and said 'Ug Jo' (which is a good enough attempt so I am counting that one as well!!). Predictably, each time that Anna says the correct word and points to the object, I am still dancing around the house with excitement.

Anna just looks at me, wondering what all the fuss is about!

Becoming the Norm

After another few days of coughing, wheezing and shortness of breath earlier this week, Anna was admitted into hospital again on Tuesday. This is the second time this year.

Although the medical profession is not able to diagnose Asthma for children under 3 years old, the doctor suggested that it is looking likely that Anna is developing the condition.

Yet again, I am looking for a reason as to why this might be happening. We don't have a smoke-filled house or any pets around. In fact, I won't allow anyone to hold Anna if they have been smoking within the last hour (the midwife suggested 20 minutes exclusion time but I add another 40 minutes to be on the safer side). It is true that I don't dust and polish every single day (where is the time??) but it is also true that our house is not exactly drowning in a sea of dust. I followed all the guidelines during pregnancy. I never ate anything with any trace of nuts (which has been linked to childhood asthma etc) so why has this happened to Anna? The doctors tells me that it is just unlucky and there is nothing else we could do but it doesn't really help. It also doesn't help that, as a matter of procedure because Anna has been in hospital twice this year, they will now send a respiratory specialist nurse to the house in a couple of weeks. They say that it is just a follow-up to make sure that Anna is OK. However, I also have a sneaky suspicion that it is also to check up on us, to make sure that we don't have the smoke-filled house and other environmental issues that might contribute to Anna's health. I know that it is something that they do to everyone so I am trying very hard to not take it personally (but as you would expect from me, I am taking it personally... can't they just tell from looking at me that I am doing everything to try and protect my daughter.) I am also getting some relief from the fact that Anna's little friend called Ethan, from our swimming class, has also been in hospital twice this year with exactly the same thing and, like Anna, Ethan has parents who try to do everything right.

When I kept pestering the doctor to tell me what I could do to stop this happening again, his only comment was 'I'm afraid that you may just have to get used to this uncertainty and the hospital trips' (Ethan's Mum was also told the same thing). So not the greatest news. Again, I questioned whether I should be taking Anna to all of these clubs, groups (I have now started playgroup...hooray!) and classes but everyone seems to be of the same opinion - that I should continue to take her. I think they are all right. For the first time since she started her classes, I actually got to sit on the side and observe Anna at swimming the other day (rather than be the one who holds her and tries very hard to distract her from wriggling out of my grasp and swimming to the other side of the pool!!). I knew that Anna had a constant smile on her face whilst swimming but, until I had a chance to see for myself, I hadn't realised just how excited and happy and animated she becomes whilst in the water. She doesn't stop bouncing up and down with excitement (no wonder I am exhausted by the end of our swimming class on a Friday afternoon). It is exactly the same with Anna's music classes where she doesn't stop dancing for a full 45 minutes. If I did stop her going, it would feel to Anna like she was constantly restricted indoors, like she feels when she is in hospital. Plus, there is nothing to suggest that she might not have caught these viruses (which then travel to her chest, causing the breathing problems) in town or walking to the post office so stopping the clubs would be useless anyway. I have looked into asthma reducing products such as asthma protection covers for mattresses and special hoovers that might to help in reducing asthma attacks. However, the day after we came out of hospital, I read that leading medical research has shown that they have no evidence to suggest that they actually do any good. (I am still debating whether to invest in something though... it can't do any harm!)

I think we just have to get on with our lives and continue to enjoy it. I must try to stop continuously worrying about when the next virus may strike and, if and when these blips do come along, we will deal with them, pick ourselves up and try to get on with the fun again. There is a small silver lining in that most children grow out of it by the age of 5 year old. So only 4 years to go!

Counting Sheep

Anna is starting to show a real awareness of things around her. For quite a while now, she has been able to retrieve a number of toys if you ask her to. For example, if you say to her 'Anna, where is Rosie [Anna's favourite doll]?', Anna would be able to go and get it from the toy box and bring it back to you. She can also do the same with her Night Garden cuddly toys (Iggle Piggle, Upsy Daisy, the Ninky Nonk and Makka Pakka), her red cube, her milk cup, her water cup, her toy hoover and, worryingly, the remote control. We still don't have the TV on during the day except for the 30 minute Night Garden programme (if we happen to be indoors and not busy) but Anna has become quite attached to the buttons on the remote control!

We were playing the very same game on Saturday as I said 'Anna, where is the remote control?' Anna then scanned the room, saw it on the coffee table and walked over to get it before bringing it back to me (I am not using my daughter to go and fetch me things.... honest!! The TV wasn't even on!) We did this with a number of her toys (as mentioned above) before I thought I would try some trickier objects, not even thinking that she would be able to do it. The first one that I said was 'Anna, can you get me the toy pig?' Anna has a toy farm with accompanying animals but they had actually got mixed up with her zoo animals so it was an even more difficult challenge for her! At first, I thought she wasn't going to find it but she then noticed the pile of animals and started rummaging through them. To my absolute amazement, she found the pig and brought it to me! I thought it must have been luck so I tried with the horse and she did exactly the same thing, bringing me back the horse (followed by lots of hugs and excitement from me, much to Anna's amusement!). Anna also successfully found the cow, the chicken and the farmer as I asked for each one in turn. I don't have a clue how she has learnt the animal names. Admittedly, we do play with the farm quite a lot and she also has quite a lot of books with farmyard animals so I suppose it is a shining example of how children learn through play and own discovery.

However, we did have trouble with the sheep. Anna brought me back a giraffe, polar bear and lion but no sheep. It is strange as Anna has seen more sheep than any other real farmyard animal (although she has also met cows and chickens before at Auntie Eileen's farm). She has been introduced to the sheep on Nan Barwell's (Goo Goo's) farm on several occasions. In fact, on Sunday, she came up close and personal with a week old lamb that her Great-Uncle Phil was holding so that Anna could say 'Hello' (Thank you for taking the time to show the lambs to Anna, Uncle Phil. It was fantastic!). We also saw lots of sheep when we went to Chirk Castle at Easter. I'm not sure that she is linking the real animals that she has seen to her toy farm animals though. She probably hasn't figured out what sheep are yet as she spends most of the time, when we are playing with her toy farm, chewing the sheep's wool off his head! I am just thankful that she didn't try that with the real lamb that we met on Sunday!

A Future Career?

It is strange what conversations you find yourself having in these baby classes. For example, Freya's mum and I were speculating on what Freya and Anna may choose as a career when they are older, based on the traits that they have now. (I am aware that this speculation will probably change a million times between now and Anna's interview with her careers advisor!)

Apparently, according to the mum's in our music group, Anna is displaying all of the signs of becoming a music teacher!! Why?

Well, Anna has a worrying tendency to place herself at the front of the class at the beginning of each lesson. In fact if Sue, the music teacher, isn't quick enough, Anna will even attempt to sit on the teacher's chair. Throughout the whole lesson, Anna will then face her class full of children and demonstrate how to play the instruments while dancing extremely enthusiastically to the music. This career conclusion was discussed without me mentioning that I was a teacher myself. However, I couldn't stay quiet for long as one of the fellow mum's asked what I did for a living. 'I'm a Teacher' I mumbled under my breath. The decision was confirmed. 'Anna must have the teaching gene passed down from you' they all cried. 'I hope not' was the only thing that I could reply. (I don't think teaching is bad but I'm not sure it is the best career option for stress-free living!)

Without realising that we had the career conversation, Sue, the music teacher, approached me at the end of the lesson and said 'I wouldn't be surprised if Anna starts playing an instrument when she is old enough. I think it may come easily to her'. I was rather surprised as, although both James and I love music (it is always playing in our house and in the car), neither of us would find it easy to pl;ay an instrument. However, the teacher went on to say that Anna is already displaying an awareness of rhythm and beat and that she always taps her foot, nods her head or claps her hands whenever a piece of music is played, even without realising that she is doing it. Apparently, these are all signs that 'music is in her blood' and that all musicians have this sub-conscious reaction to music. (There used to be a teacher who I worked with who was also a fantastic drummer. He would always tap his foot in staff meetings and when I asked him why, he said that he could always hear music in his head and he was just tapping the drum beat with his foot. It also helped the rather dull staff meetings to go a little quicker if you could hear Led Zeppelin in your head!)

However, evidence has now been found that casts doubt on these predictions of Anna becoming a music teacher! Anna has a new found interest and it looks like hairdressing might be the chosen career path. Whenever Anna sees a hairbrush, she soon has it in her hand and is trying to find her next unsuspecting 'client' to practice her hair styling skills on. It isn't long before Anna is 'brushing' your hair and yanking at the roots. Unfortunately, she doesn't always get the right side of the hairbrush and so you have a giant whack on the head as the back of the hairbrush comes down on top of your head. I think Anna may need some practice with the 'customer care' element of the job before she can start applying for jobs!